I know, no excuses

When I began writing every day at lunch time, I let it be known that I’d write every day in lieu of everything else going on. We’ve got deadlines, chores, e-mails to send, social media to distract us. Above all, writing every day.

For the first time in some time, I don’t have much to say. A personal issue has left this house anxious about our safety and this is monopolizing my brain space. We’ve had quite the infringement on our personal space, which is frightening in a home with two children.

That said, excuse or none, we write. I wrote an e-mail earlier today just to kind of unload and vent my frustrations, angers, and anxieties, and wrote, “Writing has the ability to level out where I am, high or low.”

This is a true statement. Regardless of where I am from a disposition standpoint, I’m able to write in a way to level myself to where I need to be. If I write because I’m excited or overly joyed, writing with soothe me. I will have to stop to think and make clear my statements. You can’t overwrite. You can’t express something frantically; On the other side of the coin, if I’m down, writing lets me “talk it out,” to figure out exactly how I am feeling and why. It’ll calm me. It’ll help me make sense of everything.

I’m often saying that life is fascinating. It’s also scary and maddening and filled with unanswered questions. Life is unpredictable. And so that’s that. It’s time to feed a hungry boy. It’s time to distract myself with his love.

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